So I have three cats right now. Three old man cats who are cuddly little bugs and love spending time with me.
Most of the time, they’ll put up with each other to be around me. But sometimes, especially during colder weather days, and especially over time, they’ve begun to even seek each other’s warmth and cuddles out.
To the point where now that it’s winter and the weather’s taken a little bit of a dip down, they’ll often start out cuddled next to me, then as I move around or get up to go do something else, end up all in a little group cuddling each other.
It’s very strange to think of how far they’ve come. And how much they like each other now in comparison to when I first took in my second cat and had to jump through hoops to make these first two cats get along (here’s what I did).
See I had an only-child cat for literal years. My husband Thomas and I adopted Avery – our first cat ever, neither of us had had cats before – back when we were in Canada and he showed up in our backyard curious about the cat we were cat-sitting for a friend.
That was back in 2013. And we didn’t introduce a new cat to our home until Bjorn showed up in our garden when we moved to Portugal in 2018.
In 2019, after another stray cat got hit by a car, likely by a driver who’d had far too much to drink as he was backing out of the driveway on New Years, we decided we couldn’t stomach this happening to another cat we loved, so we took in Bjorn.
That set off a series of adoptions, because we took in Athos later, and fostered two more cats – Aramis and her kitten Cleo – that my brother eventually adopted.
It was a lot of change for my once solo only-child cat Avery, who had the house and the humans to himself for 5 whole years, maybe a little more.
That’s a long time to go without feline friends, and while he interacted with his cousins – Beau and Walker – back in Canada, it wasn’t much and he never had to share his space.
I had so many negative thoughts and worries over bringing Bjorn into the home, but I knew I had to make it work, because Bjorn was so attached to me already that he wasn’t leaving my garden at all.
And I needed them to get along to an extent because they both liked spending so much time with me that it wasn’t going to work out with one cat being tucked away for most of the day.
But while Bjorn was a super-friendly-to-other-cats type, Avery was so anxious he was violent at times with Bjorn.
So with high levels of anxiety, watching them round the clock and only allowing them to be together in my presence for ages, I worked away at the anxiety Avery had by trying to spoil him and give him super cuddles and all the meals he ate (he loves eating!) in Bjorn’s presence, and over time, this calmed him down.
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He was never a fan of Bjorn, though. I think their personalities just clash. Avery’s super calm, has a wise look to him. He’s kind of Elven looking and is just so clever.
Bjorn is a clumsy baby like his mummy and has wide eyes that spill emotion out of them. He’s super nurturing, but also doesn’t understand personal bubbles. So it was not the most ideal personality mix.
When we introduced Athos into the house, I thought Avery would hate him just as much as he hated Bjorn, and that I’d have to work extra super hard to get Avery to accept the fact that his space was shared again, this time with two cats, instead of one. But strangely, Avery took to Athos far more than Bjorn. And to this day, I think he still prefers Athos. He lets Athos get away with far more than Bjorn…
An example of a recent picture of him with Athos…
Versus him with Bjorn…
Not quite the same relationship.
Maybe Athos is more still. And more timid and he doesn’t disrupt Avery’s space even when he’s in it the way Bjorn does with his chaotic, clumsy energy?
Maybe something just jives with Avery with regards to Athos where he doesn’t see him as anything like a threat? I’m not sure exactly, but it just feels like they get along, so much better.
So yes, cats can get along. And some cats like each other. Some cats like each other far better than they like other cats. Athos probably likes Bjorn far better than Avery. Actually, they act like twins to a point where I feel like Bjorn might be Athos’ kiddo.
But Athos also doesn’t dislike Avery in the slightest. Actually he taught Avery to play with cats in a non-aggressive way when Bjorn always annoyed Avery to the point where even seeing Bjorn play would piss Avery off. Now Athos chases Avery around the house and Avery lets him and chases back, all in a very calm, happy way.
Avery likes Bjorn a lot better than he used to, but he doesn’t like him the same way he likes Athos, no way.
And the other cats that we had go through this house, especially Cleo who was integrated with the three of them and lived with them almost a whole year.
Avery put up with Cleo and was fine with her, but he didn’t cuddle with her or play with her all that much. He didn’t like her the same way.
But he likes Athos, and he doesn’t like many cats. And this is special to me.
And Athos and Bjorn are the types to like all cats and try to get along with them and play with them, and cuddle with them and interact with them, but they’re different and they are liked differently by other cats.
Cleo loved Bjorn the best and treated him like a big brother she would sometimes torment, if I’m honest, playing too rough with him to the point where sometimes I would scold her.
He was nurturing and almost motherly to her, would groom her and seek her out to play with and cuddle with.
Athos loved playing with Cleo, but you could tell Bjorn was Cleo’s favourite.
But when Aramis lived in our house, Athos and Aramis snuggled up but wouldn’t play together, so there are differences in their relationships as well.
Athos would chase her and try to play (and even did this with Kalista, my brother’s cat, when she came to visit one day), he loved trying to interact with the other girls besides Cleo this way, but they wouldn’t reciprocate. But Aramis let Athos cuddle with her, so she was fine with him, just didn’t want to play with him.
Do cats like each other? Mine do now, so much that they end up sleeping in a pile of three adorable little Zelda Triforce snugglers.
Mine didn’t before, well, the two out of three did, but not the last one. But now he does.
And they all like each other differently. Every cat that’s been in my house had a totally different relationship with every other cat. And many liked each other. And many put up with each other. And many just weren’t fans of some ways of interacting with certain other cats.
So a bit like people, I guess? Yes. Cats like each other. But it’s in such unique ways.
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Your Thoughts on Cats Liking Each Other?
Would love to hear any stories you have on cats liking each other and if you’ve had any experience with this, what your thoughts are on how it changes or varies from cat to cat to cat!
Such an interesting topic to discuss, so I’m really looking forward to reading your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
Yes, cats are like people; different personalities and different attitudes towards each other. But cats are a bit more territorial than people (some might disagree!), so you are fortunate that yours have gravitated to liking each other, if imperfectly.
The four cats in my house definitely do not like each other, and they each have their reasons for that attitude. But as I write this, I am house / cat sitting for two of my employees (mother and daughter) while they (and stepfather) are on a cruise together. There are four cats, and they get along rather well. A good thing, too, since unlike my cats, these four are indoor-only.
I think the reason they do get along is partly just their personalities, and partly the circumstances under which they were adopted. First came Mittens (neutered male tuxedo), and Bobbi. Bobbi is quite a unique-looking cat: she is a bob-tail from birth, small head, round body, jet black. Her owner refers to her as a “bowling ball”, and I agree the description is apt.
Mittens and Bobbi were adopted from the same local shelter as kittens about the same time. The shelter knew nothing about them (they were found on the street), except that there was evidence Bobbi had produced a litter, even while still a kitten. But nothing was known about what happened to her kittens.
Mittens adjusted to being adopted almost immediately, but Bobbi was so traumatized it took about a year for her to “come out of her shell”.
Now over a year after Mittens and Bobbi were homed, the boyfriend of the daughter in this family returned from a trip with two kittens he has rescued from an abusive family member. The family decided to adopt the kittens, Lady and Xena. When Bobbi saw them, you could almost hear her say “You brought me kittens!!” She immediately took to mothering them. Not nursing, of course, but bathing them and just generally making a fuss over them. It was as if part of her early trauma was losing her litter, and these kittens filled a void in her psyche.
Am I assigning human characteristics too much to these felines? You decide. Anyway, my point is that these circumstances led to these four cats (all grown up now) mostly liking each other. Mittens, being the only male in a house of females, is the odd man out, but compared to the cats in my house, he gets along very well with the others.
Sometimes I feel like these characteristics (of being motherly and nurturing, etc.) are more animal than human and we’ve lost touch with the parts of ourselves that actually they have, so it’s almost the opposite of anthropomorphizing sometimes, I feel? If that makes any sense.
I agree that the circumstance makes this lot of kitties quite unique insofar as their bond. It seems to me sometimes, too, that indoor cats tend to be forced to get along better, or at least make peace, because they can’t just run off and ignore each other every second of every day. More seeing each other day in day out, so maybe that helps the case as well.
I also feel your point about Mittens being the only male – I don’t know why but I also feel there’s less friction initially between opposite gender cats? This was a theory I saw a lot of but I’ve had experiences after reading it and it feels true to me. It’s not that the others don’t get along and have great relationships, but it feels like the initial introduction feels far easier if it’s the opposite gender. Just at first.