Cat-owned humans don’t often speak out about their suffering. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies, you know, being a member of a cat’s staff I mean.
There’s plenty of untold suffering going on from the end of cat owners everywhere. We’ve been trained by our superiors to pretty much ignore as much of the suffering as physically possible, to grit and get through it, and finally, to be stoic and silent in the face of what suffering remains. We’ve been trained very well, so it’s not often we make a peep; rarely will you ever hear us complain. But, yes, behind these walls, suffering still does exist.
If you’re wondering what suffering I’m talking about, well let me show you behind the curtains into a world not yet exposed – the hushed pains of cat owners everywhere.
Trials & Tribulations of Cat Ownership: Our Unvoiced Sufferings
Realizing you don’t even remember what it’s like to have clothing that isn’t covered in fur.
Saying goodbye to your black clothing or resigning them to the fate of never truly being black again.
Wishing that for once, your cat would go to the bathroom before you cleaned the litter box instead of waiting until just after you clean it to go.
Coming home and putting down your wool coat and scarf, turning away for a moment, then turning back to realize kitty’s already started taking his/her claws of mass destruction to your favourite winter wear.
Wondering how on earth it is that cats manage to get away with sleeping for 16 hours a day… this world wasn’t made for humans, it was made for cats.. Sadly, you can never be one of them..
Realizing that your phone is completely full on your vacation, but you haven’t backed up and all you have are photos of your cat in adorable poses to delete to make more space.. guess you won’t be taking anymore snapshots this summer break.
Wanting to sit next to kitty and.. oh.. nope.. cat’s gone. Kitty’s not in the mood right now.
Watching your cat after being given catnip makes you realize you’ll never be that happy in life. Ever.
Looking around the house everywhere for your favourite sweater, then realizing kitty’s sitting on it. Nope. Can’t take that back. Count it as a charitable donation to the feline god.
Later – looking everywhere in the house for your laptop to finally get some work done, realizing kitty’s taking a nap on that now, and resigning yourself to your fate: you’ll just have to re-find the motivation to work later.
Staring at your kitty’s pretty face and realizing you will never be that gorgeous. Wishing you could look as adorable as your cat does.. even for just one day?
When the cat uses your favourite chair as a scratching post…
…Uses your back as a scratching post…
..And uses your tummy to knead on.
Realizing there is no space in your home that does not belong to your cat. Your dressers, your closets, your cupboards – everything in the house is kitty’s domain. Simba, “Everything the light touches…” and doesn’t touch for that matter. All yours.
Time for bed? Nope. Kitty’s on your pillow. Just wait ’til his/her cat nap is done.. it’s fine; shouldn’t be too long…
When kitty wants to play, kitty needs to play. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. Your assignment due in two hours needs to wait. Don’t you understand urgency?
Watching new people interact with your kitty and realizing that no one will ever be that excited to meet you.
Finding fur everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. In your pots & pans, your laundry machine, your fridge, on your mouse pad, keyboard, houseplants, up on shelves kitty doesn’t even use.. it’s even in the dinner you just made for yourself a second ago…
…Cleaning that fur. Over and over and over again. No it does not end. No it doesn’t matter how much you clean, doesn’t matter if you brush kitty with a deshedding tool daily, there will always still be more.
Though, Let’s Be Honest: The Suffering Is 110% Worth It
Maybe I’m just completely brainwashed at this point, but none of this untold suffering could make me go back on my cat-servitude. In fact, I’m so caught up in it all,- I don’t think I could live without being cat-owned again.
If you’re cat-owned yourself, I doubt you disagree.
We suffer, but we’re happy to take on this suffering. Call it what you will (craze? delusion? brainwashing?) I’m hooked; just, as it seems, we all are.
Cat Owners: Report – What Unspoken Suffering Have I Left Out?
It’s time to finally air out our dirty laundry. Of course this would never mean going back to our cat overloads complaining – never!
But here, in this safe space, we can certainly discuss it; then, having rid ourselves of our frustrations with confessions, will go straight back to our masters and serve them better.